Married at 21: Lessons that I have learned

       Growing up a thoughtful boy in Ohio did me well. I was blessed with many caring people around me. I could not stand doing things alone and loved journeying through life with my friends. I often thought to myself about that one friend that would love me for who I was, and that I could do the same for her. I remember meeting Alexandria when we were both just trying to make it through high school. The first thing that stood out about her was how deeply she cared for others. Alexandria and I have been good friends throughout the years, and boy have we learned a lot. Our marriage is still young but I wanted to share some of the lessons I have learned in the last four years that have stood out for me.

        

1. The truth about "Happy Wife, Happy Life"

        I know for a fact everyone is familiar with this phrase, but what if I told you that there was more to it. The first year of our marriage I remember saying this to myself a few times when I was asked to do something that I didn't want to do. As long as I could keep Alie happy things would be just fine. I've learned that marriage is more than just keeping your spouse happy. As a couple you are a team that has the opportunity to experience life and grow together. If you feel like you are just following orders from your spouse then it is likely you need to be more involved in your relationship with them. Team building activities, Communication, and date nights can really strengthen a relationship. I am all for keeping my wife happy because it really does bring joy to my life, but instead of making it a chore I've decided to do things with a smile and a deeper meaning. Being a partner to your spouse and doing things together makes all the difference.

            

2.The Vicious Cycle

          Have you ever been in an argument with your significant other? A dispute or disagreement? It would be misleading of me if i told you marriage was always blue skies and butterflies. Sometimes in marriage you encounter storms and together you have to learn how to dance in the rain. When things become difficult keep in mind you have a huge opportunity for your relationship to grow.

          Lets just say you are in a disagreement with your spouse and it goes on for a while because you both believe you are right. This can lead to a vicious cycle of words that hurt but do not need to be said. Right or wrong, stopping the cycle starts with you. You have to be willing to look at the bigger picture in order to see how much your relationship really matters. 

         Last night I was irritated because I wanted to relax before bed and Alie started to vacuum the living room. The cycle started in my mind and I started thinking thoughts that were totally unlike me.  How foolish of me to become caught up with myself and forget about the bigger picture. My dear wife works very hard to keep things clean and it would have crushed her if i wouldnt have stopped the cycle in my head before I said something I did not mean. Stop the cycle and choose love.

3. Money

         Well, I guess it is time to talk about money. It is known that money is one of the leading reasons for divorce. Hearing this makes me wonder, at what point did money become a part of the marriage relationship with your spouse? Do not get me wrong finances and money are something you need to talk about, but when money starts finding its way into your actual marriage it then becomes time to stop and look at the bigger picture that we talked about previously. Be cautious and do not let money or lack there of become a reason for your marriage to fall apart.

       Thank you for reading! 

If you have any thoughts to add feel free to share.

Last blog post for a few days but I will be back at it soon.

Happy 4 year Anniversary Alexandria!

- Ay Ay Ron.